Lost (Like Always)

Queenie has this new guy again. But this time it's different. I think this guy is the one for her, but for some strage reason, I fell really bad inside. It's like that I can't take the fact that she is going to have a boyfriend, someone to commit to and stuff like that. I SHOULD be happy for her, but take the sugar coating away, it hurts inside. Yesterday and today, she asked me if she could have a boyfriend. Oh God, I really wanted to say NO, but I couldn't. I just gave her some words of encouragement. But she told me that she is afraid of taking this step, I replied by telling her that life is all about risks. We can not move on if we don't take risks (Thank you for this line JEDI master DAVE) and bla bla bla. So now I'm going insane thinking that Queenie might be the one who I am looking for? I don't want to loose her like how I lost elaine. But the argument to this is that, she really considers me as a friend, her best friend in fact and the feeling is mutual. I guess I'm really to attatched to her, so I guess I can't call this love or maybe just love for a friend. I tell you, life is full of mysteries which are often left unsolved. And this is one of the mysteries that will drive me up the wall. Right now, I'm just drowning my self with all these questions. I really don't know what to do.....