Woah it's really been awhile

Say it's almost a month since I wrote anything up here again. And I go yelling like a fool "this site isn't dead", well it almost died again lol. Anyways, just to update, this whole Elaine thing is out of my head now for quite sometime. It's like I'm partially giving up on her. Hell, what's the use anyhow? Well now, I've been being more aggressive towards meeting other girls. I'm just tired of waiting around for the right one. I just want to do something about it and find her for myself. But it seems it really doesn't work that way. Patience is a virtue like some people say. But damn, I so freaking tired of missing out on every chance I get. Well that's life and it isn't been grand for me. And right now, school sucks big time. I'm not doing well as I used to (like i ever did). My grades are just uber low and stuff. I don't know whats wrong with me. I lack focus right now and I don't know how to get it back. Sigh, my life is really in shambles right now and I don't know how to pick up all the pieces...