Living with the pain

Today in BETHICS(Philosophy) class, Our Prof. kept on pounding us with questions... They seem simple enough to answer, but you really have to think about what he is asking... Just like any philospher, he wants to know why? Why does it have to be this way? Why is God doing this to us? Is there a God in the first place?? All these questions were asked at us... Also, he assigned different philosophers to research on... My guy was Immanuel Kant, a russian philosopher... The prof. asked me a few questions about his thesis, then he asked me a question related to his philosophy... I felt so dumb I couldn't understand his question and I blurted out the wrong answer... There are so many things I wanted to say, but he just told me to answer yes or no... After the questioning, he then went on to theodicy(about a supreme being, better known as God) He again tossed us with questions... Why do we have to suffer? Is it divine right? Or coinsidence? Then it kept me thinking... Yeah why do I have suffer this problem I am facing now... Namely liking Elaine(my blockmate)... I know, I'll never have a chance at her because she already has a boyfriend, which is also my blockmate... Why? Why? WHy??? From all the punishments, suffering or whatever you want to call it... Why did God choose it this way? Whats the purpose??? I can't really shake my feeling for Elaine.. I know, I know, I guess you guys are so tired of hearing about Elaine, but it's just to hard to forget and move on... I guess it's almost a year already (go on tell me how a big of a looser I am) but it's the hardest thing to do for me right now... Queenie has been telling me to just move on and forget it... But you can't just not love someone... Especially if you see that person everday... *sigh* It's just so Ironic.... If I have been true to my feelings in the first place I guess I wont be bitching all the time.... So the moral to all of you out there: Never hesitate or you loose... you loose Big