Still mixed up

Since we were dismissed from our last class early, strangely, Queenie asked me to go and eat with her... So we end up staying in Mcdonalds... I bought her some fries and Ice tea... So while eating we talked and I asked if she was able to talk to elaine yesterday.... She did and she said that she really didn'l like the idea that she loves her boyfriend so much... I told her, well if she really loves him we can't do anything right?? But here's another line that blown me away for the day... elaine said that "kung kaya ko lang ibigay ang love kay james na binibigay ko kay Jayson( boyfriend ) dati ko pa ginawa pero hindi ko lang talaga kaya"... DAMN MAN.... Right now I'm pretty am confused on how to feel about this... Certainly I kinda feel flattered that she knows that I exsist, but still, the feeling of regret, the feeling of me longing for her and my love has grown... I mean these past few days are really crazy... Now I don't know if I can shake up my feelings for her as easily as before... Hell I was having a hard time already before and now I hear these things from Queenie... I'm just going nuts thinking about it.... Right now, I really don't know what to do... This is the first time I've been so lost in my feelings that I just want to give up... I just wished that I could have told her how I felt before... Just a day to change everything.... If I had elaine, it would be the happiest and most wonderful thing that could happend to me.... I wouldn't ask anything from the lord again because I would be the happiest man in the world.... But reality bites.... I can't take the truth anymore....

Damn it, it's just so frustrating that why I still love her......