What did I just do now?

Surprisingly, Yahna texted me tonite and she asked if Hellboy was any good. Kind of confused with her question, I said the movie was just so-so and I thought that it wouldnt suit her taste, since IMO, the story wasnt that good and there was just too much senseless beatings (and this coming from a guy who is a sucker for action flicks). Then I asked her who she watching with. She said her sister and her sisters friend. Then I go, I'd like to watch school of rock bla bla bla then it ended up me jokingly asking her if she would want to watch with me instead. And omg she said yes, so tomorrow night we might see the movie or whatever I don't know. And right now, I feel like an idiot. But what the hell, why not just go out with her as a friend. I mean I'm over on what she did to me and stuff and I'm trying not to be as bitter as I can be. Sigh but somethings telling me that this is all so wrong. Oh what thell hell, let's just see tomorrow, she said she ain't sure yet so we'll just have to see. I asked for something out of the ordinary, now I'm getting it! (Note to self: always be careful for what I wish for)

Being a Bum ain't Funny

Now I've pretty much tasted about two - three weeks of doing nothing, but just "go to the gym, come home, use computer, sleep, rinse, wash, repeat" cycle and it's kinda getting to me. Not that I'm complaining, I just want to introduce some variety into my life. Good thing I was able to hang out with Hanna, Dave and Haidz today, something that would break my daily cycle. It was a really laid back afternoon, got something cold to eat (because if you haven't noticed that the heat is making me go insane!), then walked around the mall. The ladies did their shopping while me and dave talked and stuff, gave some input on what the ladies were choosing, then continued talking. Oh we were also able to pass by this ultra-geek shop where they were selling stuff from LOTR, like for example: The actual sword model that the Uru-Kai used in the movie! How cool is that? And what almost made me piss all over myself with excitement was a light saber hilt displayed in the store. OMG that's something I'll buy when I'm really loaded with money and have got nothing to do with it anymore. Ahh but alas, reality smacked me across the face and woke me up. Oh well, that's pretty much my day! Tomorrow I'll be hitting the gym again and will try to think of something to do. But if all else fails, I've got tons of dvds here to watch! Viva le VIRRA MALL! Hope they never close down...

P.S.
While brining Hanna and Haidee home (Woah best friends with the same letter for their names! Just thought about that right now), they talked about Yahna, since recently I'm trying to keep in touch with her and stuff. Seriously, I thought of the chance of getting back with her. But with much convincing from Hannalou (and I thank her for that!), I think I'll just forget about the whole thing and be better off with somebody else. Someone who will love me for who I am and for not my worth (finacially :D). Just had to put this down!

GOOD GOD!! I'M DONE!!!

I thought I'd never see the day that I'd be done with that stupid thesis! But thank GOD we were able to pass and finish all the revisions yesterday. I guess I'll be graduationg on time (which is in july btw) and everything is going to plan! Now I must think of something to do for the next 3 months or so hahaha! Man I love being a bum again! Most probably I'll still be pushing through my Australlian trip on July and then go with my mom to the states on october. And after that I'd start looking for a job or my folks are going to kick me out of the house. But for now, I'm going to enjoy every single day of my freedom and try to make up the days I lost to finishing that stupid thesis. Finally I can get back to being me again 8)....

Just Thinking...

It's 3am and I just got back home from my cousin's house from drinking. DIdn't drink too much as expected, so I was still sober enough to drive home (was supposed to sleep over in his house just in case I got drunk like the last time). Weird thing is, I feel depressed for some reason. Well partly maybe is I feel lonely and stuff. Just looking for someone to love, unfortunately no one wants to love me back for some reason, or maybe I just need sleep. It's 3 fucking AM for crying out loud and I get the hibbie jibbies at this hour. Or maybe I'm just anxious with alot of things. My defense is coming up this monday, so it's making me a little bit nervous and my friend's dad is in the hospital and she's really worried, it's also making me kinda worried too. Crap I don't know it's like I can't totally relax for some reason. Now I can't even tell if it's depression or anxiety that I feel. Oh well enough of that I'm just going to get some sleep right now and try not to think about it too much...

Trying Hard to Forget

It's really weird that Yahna keeps coming back to my memories. Knowing what she has done to me, my brain still forces me to remeber her for some reason I don't know why. Checked her picture over at her Friendster profile, and God she's still looking good as ever. DAMN IT SNAP OUT OF IT!! Don't understand why this has to happen right now, been thinking of her a little bit last night, remebering what we did when we went out. I try really hard not to send a text message to her, but it's so tempting, but in the back of my mind that she wouldn't reply to my text anyways, I still want to do it. GOD I'm such an idiot. Why must I torture myself like this always.....

Waiting for the End

I got news already on when our defence will be, and guess what? It's on my birthday!! HOORAY FOR ME! Jesus why am I so lucky?? Well I hope this will give us good luck on the day of our defence, if not, curse my birthday 8( Just hoping that everything will go right and FREAKING FINALLY the school will let me graduate. So as the days go buy (doing practically nothing everyday mind you) I try to burn my time by thinking of things to do. It's either watching some DVD's or use the computer to play some games or just surf the net. So today is saturday, finally going to get a life and hang out with my friends and watch that Jesus movie "Passion of the Christ". Alot of contraversy with this movie since it's a movie on Jesus getting tortured and stuff. People can't just face the fact that Jesus was really hurt this bad. I heard 2 people already died watching this film, or was it just some cheap marketing ploy to arrouse the publics curiousity and to draw them in to watch the film. But nevertheless, it's quite an interesting film that I'm really itching to see. Ok enough with my movie critque, I hope that this movie will be good and will make me feel guilty for being a bad boy 8(

Still more work to be done

Just a brief update about my life, I'm already done with my OJT, but my Thesis days arent over yet, since our group got deffered (meaning: it's some sort of extension for us who weren't to pass our requirements on time). The reason behind on why we were deffered is because our program really fucked up on the last two days of the deadline. I'm not exaggerating here, it really did FUCKED up. Don't ask me why or why we weren't able to fix it on time, I've heard a million people ask me that question and it''s kinda funny really. We mention to our blockmates back in school that our group was deffered then all the time this happens (in sequence!) 1.) they gasp, 2.) they ask why and tell us that they thought we were doing really well 3.) they say "ok lang yan kayo niyo yan kayo pa" (or something to that extent). I know they mean well, but I woneder, do they have like a secret meeting that to tell this to people who were deffered? I don't know? I wasn't invited :(... Anyways, good thing the school is good enough to give us a chance to pass everything agian this saturday. I hope we dont get fucked in the ass like the last time and pass it for real and finally graduate. Oh well that's that, as usual not everything is going according to plan... Nothing ever does though.

My life: Like a Blur

I've already started my OJT 2 weeks ago, tomorrow will be my 3rd. I can't believe how I managed to get this far! I mean things just happen without me realizing it. A couple of weeks ago I was sifting through my old notes and documents in the other room. And I was able to find a 2 page document which I had to make for this class when I was a froshy. And it talked about my expectations about the school and my future. Back then my vision of the future was pretty vague (well it still is up to now), anyways, it just brought back some memories of my first year in college. Now back to the present, I'm still pretty unsure of what I'll be doing with my life after I graduate. I really don't feel like discussing or just thinking about it right now. So far my attitude towards the whole thing is "whatever happens, happens"...

I'm kinda trying to take advantage of my sunday, trying as much as possible to enjoy my weekend since this week I'll be working and coming home tired as usual. Programming isn't really the right carrer for me I tell you. At first I thought it would be really cool, but the stress isnt just worth the coolness factor, if you know what I mean. Oh well at least I was able to meet some interesting people at work and made a couple of new friends. So all in all the experience is really not that bad at all. Oh well, I hope that next weekend I'll be able to let lose and hang out with my friends. I tell you, ojt and thesis is a really bad combination...

Unfortunately, It's That Time for me to Vent *again*

Ok so what's really wrong with me? No seriously? It's 2004 already and nothing has changed. I just got denied again with this girl I was courting named Yahna. I really don't want to go into the specifics since it will be forever etched in my mind that why she will always see me only as a friend and not as someone to love. Anyways anyways, after with the proper therapy (drinking from monday-wednsday straight did the trick!) day by day I'm able to accept the fact of her decision (having to wait a painful 3 months), hell it's the only thing I can do right? But I'm not really mad or bitter about all of this, I just get lonely, knowing that I don't have anyone to go out with during the weekends or whenever. Having that in the back of my mind sends sharp pains to my chest as a constant reminder that I am once again denied. But the bitching will eventually end, and I'll probably be normal again in a few months or so. After going through alot of rejections, this one seems to be S.O.P. already. Don't really want to think of the future , my mind is set to go with the flow now, so shoot me...

What was I thinking?

Trying to force myself to write some more, you know just to keep the brain going from time to time. Anyways, well I've been really feeling like a lazy ass bum when it comes to school. I guess I'm kinda tired of my schedule because every tuesdays and thursdays are veeeery long, but fortunately, it's our last week then next week will be our finals. So there goes my first term, whizzing by me with out me realizing it.

Oh well enough of the academics, I just want to be honest with myself now, I recently found a prospect, someone whos uhmm not exactly nice hehe but shes sweet. Thought something would work out, but I was so blind to the fact that she already had a bf. OK OK I'm not going into self PITY mode, since all of you already seen that side of me. I'm just trying to say that, why do these things have to happen to me. I'm almost seeing all of this as a joke and actually laughing at it. But the worse part of all of this is that, even though I knew that she already had a boy friend, I had a couple of attempts to ask her out (which were all failed FYI). The last attempt, which was last saturday, I tried to ask her out to a movie, but I should have taken the hint. I feel kinda bad and guilty that I was doing the wrong thing. I promised my self that I wouldn't do this again, but I can't just help myself and I guess I wasn't thinking. Oh well, that's done, I guess I just have to look again huh? I'm not really that depressed, but I just feel kinda sad which in time will surely fade away...

This google thing?

I just got this google toolbar, it's supposed to block out pop ups and since I usually use google as a search engine I guess it's practical to have. Long and behold it also had a blogger short cut, so I don't have to go to the website and post my entries, trying to put more effort into writting now 8(. Well anyways, nothing really has been happening to me for the past month or so. Finals week is fast approaching, turning over projects and stuff are really going to be a pain in the ass. But asides from that, nothing, I say again, nothing has changed since (well I got a new phone though a p800 something I really wanted during the summer time and smart made my wish come true hehehe). SO that's that, sorry for being really boring, but I can't just help it. I'm just calling what I see...

Nothing new really, just tired...

This week was really crazy. Been busy with this case study for our Strategic Marketing class and boy was it tough. Had to really think and all that crap !!! Well anyways the reporting is done and today I'm just planning to bum around (like always since it's a sunday and all). I can't believe that monday is coming again so soon. Been so busy that I almost forgot about my weekend :( but I hope this week will be more laid back. Well I really have nothing new to talk about. Just the same old things day in day out. Asides from aquiring a new game (Jedi Academy leeched by my good buddy jed! All hail the torrents) nothing really has changed drastically. Ok so there, I'm kinda lazy to think right now, so I'll just end my entry here...

Lookie lookie!!

So I got my DSL connection back (THANK GOD!) and I added something new in my blog. I call it KINQUE TV!! Just figured out how to let my webcam upload pictures to my blog. It takes pictures in 5 minute intervals (subject to change) and posts em here on my blog. Neat huh??

Anyways this week was hell. I was able to survive 3 projects and 4 midterms (with me not studying for any of them because I was very busy doing my projects). I'm just glad it's all over and I didn't burn out. Although, I hope that I get a good enough grades for my effort. Can't think too much anymore, will post again sometime this weekend...

Weekly Round-up

Still not on DSL yet, still waiting for them patiently. I just saw 4 episodes of CSI. We bought the whole first season on DVD yesterday and I'm glad for that. Looks like I'll spending my weekend at home, my buddies are busy hitting the books because it's already midterm week this coming week. Our midterms are a week after theirs, although I have 2 already next tuesday, but I guess I'll be hitting the books on monday. I got the whole day to study anyways. Nothing really interesting happend this week. We had our year book pictorials last wednday. Ahh first come the pictorials then next thing you know it, BOOM! Grad practice. Where does the time go? Most probably I'll be moving to Australia and try to find work there, but thats not definte yet, just a possibility. Still not really sure what I'm going to do with my life after I finish school. Might be harder than I though, but what isn't? Anyways, I got over what I'm supposed to get over with. had a talk with her and everything seems to be fine. But I must admit I miss those times with her. Wish I could have something like that again...

Trying to get over things...

My first post after moving into a new home for almost a month and a half. Haven't been on-line after yesterday. Haven't gotten my DSL connection hooked up yet because of some stupid technical issues. Too complicated to explain right now. Anyways, what's been happening with me you ask? Well I noticed the last post that I kept on mentioning about her. Well, I'm sorry to say that there is no more her. Why you ask? Long story, don't want to really get into it, but let's just say I got royally fucked. I'm not mad, just hurt. Trying to get rid of the lonliness that I'm experiencing for some reason. Also just realized that this will be my final year in school, two more terms and I'm finally free (or am I?). Oh yeah, been hooking up with my two old friends, Pam and Queenie. It's like being a roller coaster ride with those two. The fights, the complications, but in the end we are still all friends. I just realized that this will be my last year with them, so I'm trying as much as possible to spend some time with them before I regret it. But still, I can't help fight the lonliness, I'm really getting tired of this. Going to try to figure out how to get rid of all of this BS. Maybe hitting the bag tonite will help? Oh well, let's just see...

1 day weekend :(

First week of my summer classes has just gone by and I want to end it TODAY. I just can't believe that I have to go back to school again tomorrow. *sigh* I should stop whinning and talk about something else, but what the hell? This is my blog, deal with it. Anyways, despite school being a pain in the arse, I had a great saturday to compensate for. I was out with her again yesterday and had lot's of fun as usual. It's just funny that I never get satisfied after seeing her for a day. I wish I could see her more, but thats that. I hope to see her again next week though! Ok enough of that, I'm starting to sound like Dave's blog what happend to the angst, the depression, the sadness? Unfortunately folks, I think it's going to be all pretty and pink for quite a while. You can all blame it on her and not me...

I feel old

I was browsing through my messages on my phone, then I read Jeelai's message when she greated me for my birthday. "You're 21 na you old bastard..." and now my knees are giving up on me. The left went first and im forced to wear a knee support whemever I do any physical activities and now the right is giving way also 8( This sucks!! I have to put those hot compress bags over my 2 knees now (I can now hear dave yelling over the distance "You old GIT!!"). Anyways, with all these aches and pains, I was able to lose all the pounds I gained over the holy week and then some! So I guess it's not all that bad! I just hope my back doesn't give up on me also.

Today was a smooth day, hot, yet smooth. Didn't do much in school today either. Just sat down, listen to my prof speak and waited for the bell to ring. Anyways, two more weeks of this kind of toruture and I'm FREE! Then I hit school again on June 2 *DOH!*. Like I said, this ain't the best summer of all, but I'll make sure to make it up next year...

Lousy Summer?

It's just too fucking hot to walk around, too hot that it gives me migraines. I gained some pounds back and I just heard from dave that the guys are going to puerto on may 2-4. Lucky me, I can't make it. Why? I'll be missing 2 days of summer class and one of those days is a saturday which the prof in my Quant-t class always gives a quiz on that particular day. Hooray me. Been looking forward for all summer to hit the beach, but I don't get to go. I'm starting to hate my summer class and it's only the 2nd day. OMFG what did I get myself into. What kind of summer is this? Day by day, my summer is getting shittier and shittier.

Oh and a final note: She's not home yet. I hope she doesnt get too wasted and comes home soon....

Summer is giving me a headache (literally)

There's not a day I get attacked with a migraine because of this dumb heat. As I'm typing my blog, I'm still pestered by this stupid headache of mine. I'm not sure if it's because of the heat or I'm thinking too much or maybe a mix of the two. Any case, it's really annoying. For some reason I just can't settle down. Something is keeping me anxious, maybe I'm just too paranoid, but for some reason I'm getting all stressed up for nothing. Sounds weird, but as much as I want it to go away, I can't do that right now. Damn, I wish I could just figure out whats wrong with me and let the anxiety away.

On a final note, Summer classes start tomorrow. POS!! I just got out of school and now I'm going back again. I hope I survive my summer this year.

Where the F*ck have I been??

After a few months of bening shamelessly lazy on posting my blog, I've come back to once again share to you what goes on with my crazy crazy life. Lot's has been happening. I passed all my subjects, it's summer and I finally found someone special :D. I just hope everything turns out for the better with her this time. Anyways, back to the topic on hand which is: SUMMER!!! I've been hitting the gym almost non stop, doing all my cardio related activities and cramming them into my week. This summer, I hope to take out my shirt on the beach with PRIDE. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I'll be taking off my shirt in public and be proud of it!! Well sorry for the short post, I'm off to daves house and going to crash there for a night. Going to watch band of brothers. WWII goodness :D