Fresh Start

I just formated my computer a couple of days ago. Thought it would slove my volume slider problem (long story). Anyways the past couple of days were really slow. Nothing really left to do around here, than to stare at my monitor and I guess play alot of games. Mom told me that we might be leaving for australia on May 1. Hmmm how will Austrailia be? Again, I'll be the only person who is as young as me. Going to be boring? I'll be considering it, but I hope it's not. Nothing really to report in my end, as always, Elaine occasionally pops up in my head, but I try to forget her. And oh yeah, my dryer jus blew, good thing my hand is still in one piece.

Summer Sensation (numb)

Finally school's out and now I can slack off! Been slacking off for the past few days (whats new though). My mom is still not back from Hong Kong, because my A-ma had an operation over there. She had a nasty spill and they had to operate. Tomorrow I get my grades! I hope that I pass my accounting test, because the finals was too damn hard! I really hope I get to pass it! Nothing really to report so far, my life is moving like molases, but like anything exciting ever happend...

Woo Happy Birthday to me? But whats so happy about it?

Today I turn 20... So? Why do people fuss about birthdays anyways? Every year its just the same... Something is bound to screw up or go wrong. Well anywyas. I'm 20, I better start acting my age now

MOVED at LAST!!

Ugh this is the last time I'm moving this blog! Damn GEOCITIES are asking for cash to use their FTP services and alike. Sigh, I hope this time bravenet my new host will not screw up like geocities. Also, sorry for not really keeping this blog alive. Partly because I was lazy and didn't have any mojo to write with and the other reason is that I was busy. YES busy! With what you ask? Well with *gasp* school work! Damn school won't let us be free for the summer vacation so they are keeping us until the 15th! This will be the first time that I'll be having class on my birthday, sigh, it sucks to be me! Speaking of birthdays, it's Pam's birthday tomorrow. *hehe* kept on bugging me to give her a gift. Guess I'm totaly screwed, didn't have the time to pick a gift for her so hmmm greetings and a kiss would do for now!

testing?

Hell Starts again TODAY

Have to go to school again for at least two more weeks then off I go, but DAMN got lot of things to finish, things to do bla bla bla... No more slacking off, once again I'll have to flip the switch to CRUCH TIME MODE!!! See ya in a coulpe of years or so.

Used?

I just came back from bringing Queenie and Pam home. *UGH* Why do they live so far away from me?? FYI, they came here btw because the needed help with their computer project. I just feel so used all the time. I mean, I really don't expect any reward from them, it's just that I'm just tired from following their "orders". But then again, Queenie is my best friend, but sometimes she just goes too far... Man, I'm just so confused right now, Don't know what to do. As always, I hope the answers come to me soon......

Nothing to report really

As expected, even though my folks are gone, I still have a boring life. Nothing cool as really been happening. It's just the same routine day in day out. ARGH!! I should at least do something before they come back and not waste this chance, but DAMN it, I can't of anything to do and who to invite to go out with. Queenie would be the best candidate, but damn! After that saturday night, I'm thinking twice again if I want to go that far out again. Well worse comes to worse, I think I'll ask her out or something. Anyways this really sucks! Maaaaaaaaaaaan my uncle just told me awhile ago that I should socialize some more. That made me feel bad and started to realize I should really do. But don't get me wrong, I do socialize but I really dont like going out at night that much. Maybe I'm just so used to not going out because of my damn curfew and the places that my freinds go are really not my cup of tea. Ahh FRELL it, I don't care this is my life and I choose how to live it.

Freedom?

So guess what? My folks left for abroad and they left me all alone back at home. Been doing alot of "work" with my ps2 *hehe* In fact, just finished my Metal Gear session 30 mins ago. I'm now recovering on how that game ROCKS!! Well got really nothing to say right now. This week was quite crazy. Lot of crazy things happend to some people I know... Well anyways its 1:30 am have to wake up at around 10 to go out...

School Sucks

Ok ok, I know I shouldn't be ranting like this like a little child, but honestly, I'm so freakin tired of my routine. It's just every week I do the same thing over and over again!! It's just driving me up the wall now!! I need some more excitement, some spice or just SOMETHING!! In an hour or so, I'll be getting ready for accounting class and *sigh* here we go again. Hmm it's kinda weird, it's just not me feeling this kind of boredom, I reconfirmed with Pong and Pam and they said the exact words. I really don't know whats happening here *lol* another plague maybe?? All I know is, I'm just tired of my rinse, wash, repeat lifestyle.... Any suggestions?

My not so perfect weekend

After how many months of staying home on a saturday night, I finally was able to go out with Queenie and my other freinds. Let's just say I really didn't enjoy my self, there are just a lot of reasons to why last night wasn't a blast, but let's just leave that out shall we? Generally, I was bored. Nothing really exciting happend last night, just a normal night out with the people who I see everyday *lol*. I guess thats why I wasn't so thirlled about last night. I think I'd rather go out with Sheilla and the others, they are more, hmmm lively I guess, but I'm not saying that yesterday's group was boring, It was just too quiet for me. Also, I hated the music hahaha so I guess that ruined my night!

My not so perfect day

Thought today would be a really fine day (finally), because Elaine's boyfreind got sick today. This all started when I was doing an activity inside the Computer Lab in our school, then suddenly somebody tapped me on the shoulder. What do you know, it was Elaine and that no good sob wasn't with her. I thought he must be late or something, then she told me that she was waiting over an hour for him (aww poor her). And more surprises come, Sheilla and Pong come inside the same computer lab and told Elaine that her boyfreind was sick (via cell phone). *Ping* It hits me that I rarely get this kind of luck and I really expected my day will be perfect, but unfortunately, I really didn't get to talk to her too much. She was kinda like avioding me, but not in a obvious manner. I understand her actions, I mean who wouldn't with the history that we had. So the lesson learned here is, never expect too much out of your day, because you can crash bad! Although I still enjoy these unexpected surpises, it's times like these that makes you feel good that you're alive...

BTW, don't you just hate it when the prof says: Elaine CHUA instead of Chan?

A few words before setting off

I'm about to go to school right now, going to be seeing alot of Elaine today *sigh* and I really do hope pam is feeling better... Hope I have a nice one today!

Sabaw!! (soup)

Well things haven't been really all that sweet and colorful. Ugh I can't believe Elaine keeps coming back in my head (but what's new ey?) Oh well at least it ain't as bad as before. As I said, nothing really has been stirring up my world. Same old boring life. Still no direction, still no life and most of all still no Elaine. Sigh, life sucks sometimes when you get to know it.

Also, Pam is really feeling down and really shitty. Man if you hear the things that she gone through today, you wont wonder why. I hope things turn out for the best of her, because she is really becoming desperate. I'm also trying to help her out in some ways. I don't know whether or not if she is going to the movies with me as I'd promised her so that she'd cheer up a bit... Anyways, either way, I'm glad that we are talking again....

Moving again

Damn geocities just told me that I won't be having access to their ftp manager after April. Well I stil can store files but it won't be publishing. UGH thanks alot!!! I just moved a couple of months ago, now I have to do it again... That's why I haven't been posting anything for the past couple of days. I'm looking for a good and free webhost. I signed up for Bravenet, but they still havent given me the green light yet.... UGHHH If anyone knows a good webhost please email me or post something in the comment box! Thanks!!

Weekend DAY 3

Ahhhh it's the final stretch of my cool weekend. Was able to things I wanted to do, basically just lie around and play with my games all day long *hehe*. School starts again tomorrow ugh gotta face work, traffic and BS again. I'm spending my final hours of today by just kicking back. Really got nothing to do that much right now. Although, I gotta study for my accounting midterms for this wednsday. The prof said it will be a 70 items test UGH gross!! I just hate accounting! Hope I'll pass the midterms this time!

Also, was able to chat with Karen again today. It was really cool that I was able to talk to her again and stuff. And speaking of freinds, I finally got hold of queenie, but unfortunately she was doing stuff for her former guy*. But at least, I was able to talk to her quite abit. Well that's going to be it now. Going to try to figure things out on what I have to do tomorrow, but I guess it will be nothing really. Ohh boy back to reality and I hope its going to be fun!!!

*see archives at around december-january

Weekend DAY 2

Phew! Just finished a game of C&C:Renegade! A first persion shooter version of the popular strategy game, Command and Conquer. I can't describe how great this game is! Team work is an absolute MUST in this game! Nobody can go in solo and win the game. Cooperation is the key word and we just pulled it off with my squad (DEMO). I miss playing games until the wee hours of the morning, this is my first time to be playing this late since the last term. It's realllllllllllllllllllly tiring, I'm going to bed in a bit...

Today btw, we watched the movie as I mentioned and it was so-so. Didn't like it too much, but it didn't bore me. Mannn it's getting late, I think I'll post again tomorrow and I bet I'll be staying around the house the whole day!

Weekend DAY 1

Time flies by really quickly, can't believe its already 8pm ughhh. The guys came over and we just played alot of ps2 (that 2nd hand piece of crap). That dumb boot disk doesnt work 100% damn damn damn. And tomorrow will be another day. My mom said that we will be catching Collateral Damage the movie by arnie. I hope it will be good. IMO Arnie is just one over sized muscle head. Well I don't know, holywood can surpise you in different ways!

Hmmm I'll be also trying to get a report from Queenie on what had happend to her fashion show. Tried to call her up just know, but she is talking to someone else (like she doesn't run out of people to talk to). Sometimes it's just disappointing when I want to talk to her on the phone, I have to wait in line like I'm queuing for a ride in a theme park. I tell you, it's exactly like a rollercoaster ride, you que for so long then you step in, get thriled for 5 mins and the ride is over. Once I get to talk to her BAM! She hits the call waiting button and tells me that she has someone else to talk to... ugh! And in school I could barely talk to her straight, because she keeps on hanging out with her other girl friends. So what am I suppose to do? That's why I guess I wont be joining her in a retreat session that our religon teacher is planning. It's because it will be the same at school, I won't be really having anyone to talk to, well as in real talk not just idle chatter. *hehe* Guess she is wanted by lots of people and I just have to cope with that.....

Ahh Finally the weekend!

It seems that I've been waiting for a decade for the weekend to come. I've been bored and stuff and I think I'll be playing alot of games like I use to do *hehe*. Jed and Dave are coming over hope that will be a blast. I'm at school right now and strangely, I've been posting logs here for the past 3 days? Weird, I used to hate posting here at school but it became a habbit *hehe* Anyways, enough of this senseless ranting.....

Btw guess whats going to happend tonite at school! My very own Queenie will be modeling tonite!! W007!! She's been chosen (or lets just say forced) to model for her friend that is taking up fashion design. *hehe* Of course she doens't want to do it, but I bet she will be a good model! She has the height and the body for it!! Hope she doesn't trip or anything tonite! And I bet she's going to blow everybody away!!

So once again WELCOME WEEKEND save me from the insanity!!

Stil some more boring posts

Arghh! It's just frustrating that nothing really exciting happends. I'm just bored out of my wits and keep on posting these boring logs. Well anyways, the weekend is fast approaching and it will be a long one since on monday there will be no classes *w007* more time with the ps2 LOL. Maybe Jed can come over to play that scary ass game agian!!

Hmmm life is pretty lame right now. I think I'll be talking more on my ps2 games than my life, since they make my world (words from a loser). Oh yeah speaking of ps2 games, I was scared out of my pants when I played Metal Gear Solid 2. I guess you would know that sound when you get discovered in the game. That loud sieren like sound. Argh!! Since I hooked my ps2 to my AV receiver, it kicks up the sould quality alot resulting to making the sounds very distinguishable. Anyways, I'm just a big frady cat and I lead a boring life!

Linear Week

Sigh... Everyday is always just the same. I need some excitement, variation or just something to look forward to this week. Although, Jed and Dave are coming over to the house. They are going to crash over and at the morning we are trying to make an instrumental song for my grop work in LIT class. And the rest of the day Jed will try to finish the horrible horrible game called Silent Hill 2. I borrowed the game from Franco 3 days ago, but since then, I never got the disk out from the box. I'll never dare to play the scary game *lol*. Well I hope I'll some fun for this week since midterms are just about to be done so I think I'll be going back to becoming a bum...

Ps2 with a Twist of Irony

Sorry for this late post, I've been "busy" or just lazy to write up a post. Crazy things have been happening lately, I've already bought my new ps2 but *damn* I'm just a failure when it comes to consoles. The ps2 is fine and all, it plays the games I wanted to, but the disk to load the fake game is just a copy, thus making it to boot up harder. I know this is complicated to understand, but let me just say, here in the Philippines Pirates rule!! *hehe*. So I asked for a replacement disk for the "boot disk" amd the shop told me to call them up on thursday. Also, if I wanted the original boot disk I have to pay extra for it. DAMN THEM MAN!!! Screw that shop!! After getting the original disk from them I'll never buy anything from them. It kinda bugged me for the past few days, but now I'm kinda over it. Oh btw, colin my dearest fan hahaha I got those games you mentioned as in all of them!!! Jed and dave is coming over this weekend, why dont you come over din!!

Valentines Wha?

It seems that the day I was ranting about turned out surprisingly ok. *hahaha* Never did once I feel that love-BS I was anticipating. Well good thing it never did happend! Today was really another crazy day. I really don't want to get into too much deatails because it was more on the ugly side. Queenie again told me she has troubles with some her friends. The usual, you know.... Can't believe also tomorrow is friday! Another week has gone by without me knowing about it. Midterms will also be hitting us next week so I guess I'll be out for a few days? But I doubt that *hehe*. I have to "study" well seriously I have to for two subjects which are full of technical terms.

Oh yeah I might also be buying my ps2 tomorrow, if mom gets the money from dad. Hmmm I'm really quite unsure yet whether to buy again or not. Just too much issues floating around my head. Hmmm gotta think straight this time. I hope I'll make the right choice

For this Valentines "BS" day log, I'll leave you with a quote from one of the greatest movies I've seen so far (Vanilla Sky)

"The sweet ain't as sweet without the sour"

Screw Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be that dreaded day called valentines. Who the hell made up that day anyway? It just sucks ass!! Btw, I also read my poem, which I wrote yesterday, to Queenie. After reading it to her she was impressed, then I asked her to who do you think I wrote this for? She immdiately replied "Elaine". I said nope, its not for her, guess again! Then she told me that she was really tired and didn't want to guess. So eventually I told her straight that it was for her. She was touched and all and thank me.
I guess the reason for not writting for Elaine is because, I'm really tired from this crap. She knows I had feelings for her so whats the use showing them now when she loves someone else. At first it was kinda fun, but now it's getting boring for both me and her. So I decided to write about to the person who I owe so much to. And it really feels nice doing something really nice for a person who you care for. It just makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. I hope good changes like this in me will still continue. Even my day today was great for some reason, I really do hope it will just stay like this.......

Remebering the Old

This morning I was supposed to go to mass with my folks because today is Ash Wednsday. Since there was school today and the church was pretty near, we just walked it out. As I was walking to church, eventually we would pass my alma matter. While passing by, I remebered how I spent my 13 years in this damn school. Bitchy teachers, tons of homework and the lowest kind of peer preassure. But I also too had my moments in that school, but strangely, negativity just popped in my head. I guess it was just early and I lacked sleep. So right now, I'm just burning time until I go to school. My schedule is really crazy today because I was supposed to go to virra mall this afternoon to go check some prices for a new ps2 (btw I sold that old piece of crap, so now I'b buying a new one). I hope the mass at school will be early, so it won't mess up my schedule that much. Also, next week is MID TERM WEEK! Ugh! Have to go study this weekend (like I do it all the time). Hope I do well this time. Wait, I'll just be honest here, let me rephrase that. *ahem* I hope I just pass everything! There ya go *hehehe* although I must set higher goals for myself and I have to do it soon....

Poem for my best friend

Hey I was able to make a poem for lit class. It supposed to be in an iambic pentameter form, but it really does not follow the syllable coun't *hehe* screw that I can't write properly with it. So here it goes hope you folks like it:

You picked me up when I was down and dirty
You called my name when nobody wanted to
You held my hand when I was lonely
You painted my day when it was blue

You whispered to me when everybody yelled
You came to me when nobody was there
You cleared my mind when I dwelled
You gave to me that what is rare

I thank God he gave me to you
I thank the stars they guided me to you

Official Post

Ok this will be my official post after the facelift, last night doesnt count because I was very sleepy!!! Anyways, first of all, I want to thank JED CRUZ my main man for helping me out with designing my stupid template... It doesnt look that good because I just borrowed it. I'm thinking of rewriting the code, but there is a furious debate within me from doing so. You might have noticed the banner below, as I said this is the site of my good buddy Jed. Cool comics so CLICK on it and read it ok! It's worth your time, trust me.

The reasons why I placed my blog on a hosted site because I wanted to put more media into my blog. I've noticed that my posts were so boring, no pictures, no music, NO NOTHING. So this time, blogging will be more interesting and I hope you my readers (if there's any) will be more motivated to read about my boring life. I've started a new blig Chinese new year is tomorrow and I feel I'm starting a new life! I hope this will be the mark of a brand new beginning. KONG HEI FAT CHOI!

Major Facelift

Ahhhh FInally after hours and hours of work I got my blog on Geocities. I tell you, I spent the whole day working on this stupid thing *lol* I hope to get more traffic. As you can see also I was able to get a comment function up by YACCS, I hope you guys reading this will be able to give comments and stuff. I'm really tired now I guess I'll do more tomorrow. THANK GOD FOR DSL!!!!


P.S. I would like to thank my good buddy and fellow squad member Jed Cruz for helping me out with this dumb coding fot html. Make sure to check his site out here. It's an online comic strip site, I want to invite you guys to read his stuff!! It's really funny!

OMG! What a DAY!!

Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww What a day all right..... I tell u, today's events were so unexpected! First of all the I was planning to watch a movie with queenie today at the Power Plant, but that failed since me and my folks are going to watch another movie at the same mall... They wanted to watch at 7:20 but I will never make it because I have to bring home queenie and I doubt I will be back in time... So we decided that we will just eat lunch and buy her the bag I promiced her... While going home through the High Way, I was pulled over by a police man because I wasn't following the roadsign (which was to go left).... I did't notice the road sign so It's really my fault and all... Boy was I in a JAM!!! If they get my license, I'm sure to be found out by my folks (because I told them franco was bringin queenie home).... OHHH boy then Queenie suggested to give him some cash to bribe the sucker! So I did, I waved out my hundred peso bill and *tada* he suddenly becomes nice to me.... DAMn man lost a hundred bucks but I was able to get out clean..... So I brought her home then went back to the mall again.... I sat down at subway and I rested... I just sat there from 4:40-7:00 damn I needed the rest! Then we went to see black hawk down... IT WAS GREAT!! It was worth the wait I tell you!!

To sum everything up, today was crazy but fun day... I had a blast with queenie and I hope she did with me!! One of my most memorable weekends *haha*

The BS is gone, but I still lag!

Damn ISP giving me a headache! I got everything fixed now, the only thing remaining is the slowwwwwwwwww internet speed! I'm supposed to be on DSL but my speeds are at modem speed... WTF??? It's really pissing me off! They want a price increace but the service still sucks?? WTF??? Mann I'm sick of all this fraud! Screw PLDT SCREW The government!

Technical BS!

Arrghhh! I'm very frustrated from whats happening to my computer... I just upgraded to XP and my first try I had it good... Then I installed some patches for my different programs then things started screwing up... Not to mention my DSL speeds have been slowing down... It's about a modem speed claimed by DSLreports.com... Damn it, it really bites... I have been tweaking for the past few days and not getting enough sleep because of it! I was planning to sleep early and wake up late today but I forgot to give Queenie's accounting book the day before so I'm in school an hour early before my class.... I'm trying to kill time here in school by surfing but I don't think it's working.... Mannnnnn I'm just so freakin sleepy right now and I still have classes at 6pm... I think when I get home I'll go catch some zzz to renergize!!

Zooom!

Wow things have been happening really quick!! Remeber about Queenie and her guy? Well they've been found out and the first few days she was feeling terrible... She even cried on monday first thing in the morning... That was how bad the situation is... But now, things have been cooling down... As much as possible, the problem has been controled and toned down abit... Although, I wish that guy would stop calling her regularly... As if nothing happend between them... Well in the other hand it's nice that he is not forgetting Queenie and the relationship they had... But I wish he would do it when things are really cool between him and his girlfriend... I just feel like smacking him on the head....

Well as for me, about the elaine issue, I'm just over it now... I don't feel that bad anymore and I guess I've faced reality... I really don't dwell on the subject anymore and I won't start it here... I'm at school right now, we had make up classes this morning and I glad I came! The students who attended today's class will get plus 10 points for the next quiz! WOW!!! just for attending! ITS a freakin steal man!!!! I'm also waiting for my good buddy david to text me and tell me that he is on his way home... sighhhh it's pretty boring here right now... Queenie and the others left so I'm stuck here alone.. Hehe but I guess I'm already used to it by now...

Oh yeah and last night I caught Idle Hands on HBO... Its a sick movie and I don't recommend smart people to watch it....

Trying to Get Over it (again)

I'm at school now using the internet kiosk... I was off early since we just had a quiz for our first subject... I hope I can pass it.... Anyways, I was glad that Elaine wasn't "ilang" with me today in class... Her reaction to me was normal, so I too tried to play it as normal as I can... But for some reason, I'm always was looking at her... If it wasn't for the quiz I would, be staring at her all day long.... Before I came here I went first to the chapel... Seeking for guidance with the Lord.... I'm really so desperate now, I just got lost all over again.... I'm trying now to cope with everything that is happending, but it's too darn difficult... I prayed that I would really find my answers soon, I really hope I could find them.... I just heard the bell ring a few minutes ago, so I'll be heading up for my last class of the day.... I just want to end this day now..............

"It's Like I Died Again"

God, the past few days were aweful... So this what happend, Saturday afternoon, I texted elaine and asked her if she did her homework in ORGANBE (organizational behavior)... She said she wasn't able to do it yet because she doesn't have a computer to do it on... So once again, the hero that I am, I offered to do her homework... Of course she was kinda hessitating but I reassured her that I can do it.... So after that I asked her why aren't you out... She said there was nothing really to do anyway.... I said why dont we go out and catch a movie on next saturday.... After a few texts she finally agrees... And of course I was really happy and stuff... Thinking that I'll be getting my second chance with her... but I felt that there is something wrong to this picture.... And I really hate it when I'm right... While watching a movie on that same day, she suddenly texted and apologized for raising my hopes with her since she is still patching things up with her boyfriend and saturday is not really a great idea.... Woah man... Hold the phone..... I wasn't able to watch the movie properly nor believe on what I am reading... But I collected my feelings and tried to finish the movie... So once the movie was over, me and my folks sat down in this veitnamese restaurant and I started to reply.... I said that I'm sorry for being foolish for inviting her and stuff... She said that I was just being there for her and she thanked me... I said that I'm glad she sees it that way and I also admited to her that I still have feelings for her and I couldn't shake it.... Then here comes the hard blow, she said that she was flattered but, she still loves her boyfriend, if she was able to give her love to me she would, but she really does love her boyfriend.... *sigh* From then on eating wasn't really a good idea... I felt like braking up, if I wasn't in a public place I would just curl up and cry.... For some reason swallowing was really a difficult task.... Regret filled me up and I was just sad.... One of the saddest days of my life... being rejected twice........ It's so god aweful that I try to forget that day, but I can't.....
Right now I'm still trying to recover, tommorow will be monday and I don't know on how will I react to her... I guess it will be still normal but everytime I will be seeing her, it will be more painful now.......... *Sigh* Sometimes even death comes to mind...... I just love her.... If only I could have her.......

Still mixed up

Since we were dismissed from our last class early, strangely, Queenie asked me to go and eat with her... So we end up staying in Mcdonalds... I bought her some fries and Ice tea... So while eating we talked and I asked if she was able to talk to elaine yesterday.... She did and she said that she really didn'l like the idea that she loves her boyfriend so much... I told her, well if she really loves him we can't do anything right?? But here's another line that blown me away for the day... elaine said that "kung kaya ko lang ibigay ang love kay james na binibigay ko kay Jayson( boyfriend ) dati ko pa ginawa pero hindi ko lang talaga kaya"... DAMN MAN.... Right now I'm pretty am confused on how to feel about this... Certainly I kinda feel flattered that she knows that I exsist, but still, the feeling of regret, the feeling of me longing for her and my love has grown... I mean these past few days are really crazy... Now I don't know if I can shake up my feelings for her as easily as before... Hell I was having a hard time already before and now I hear these things from Queenie... I'm just going nuts thinking about it.... Right now, I really don't know what to do... This is the first time I've been so lost in my feelings that I just want to give up... I just wished that I could have told her how I felt before... Just a day to change everything.... If I had elaine, it would be the happiest and most wonderful thing that could happend to me.... I wouldn't ask anything from the lord again because I would be the happiest man in the world.... But reality bites.... I can't take the truth anymore....

Damn it, it's just so frustrating that why I still love her......

Queenie and her guy


Hehehe to make up for not posting for two days I'll write this seperate post because I just feel like it... *ahem* SO here it goes....

Apparently Queenie has this new guy.... Although the catch is that this guy of his has a girlfriend... Now he is torn on which girl to love??? But it looks like the ball is heading Queenies court... I mean this guy spends more time with her than his girlfriend.... *wahaha* Kinda funny on whats going on... Well but it shouldn't be taken lightly... SHe really likes this guy and I hope everything will turn out ok for her... She finally finds the right one, but the right one is attached.... Damn how Ironic.... But luckily for her this guy also feels for her... Unlike me I just really have to play it innocent with Elaine.... Damn I do hope things would come around for me just this once...

So I'll give an update on whats happending about Queenie... This story musn't be missed... I guess I call this the "Messed up Love triangle" series.... *Waaahahaha* That, or if I think up of a better title....

P.S. This is the same guy I mentioned on December 31, 2001 *hehe*

???


Ok so here is the story, Queenie was telling me about elaine and her boyfriend fighting... I'm really not sure what it was about but I figured that her boyfriend said something very aweful, because he is very known for that in the classroom, very tackless I mean... Queenie wouldnt go into too much details because if she told me I might be the crap of her boyfriend if I knew what he did or said... She just told me that she was so mad that she said that "sana kayo na lang ni james kasi alam ko aalagan ka pa nya"... So I chose not to also because I want to respect the privacy of elanie and I wouldnt want any trouble now... DAMN i've been thinking about it ever since I was going home from Alabang Town Center... I mean the whole drive the way back... Thinking about what Queenie Told me... Was it that bad??? I really do hope she is alright... btw me and Queenie ate lunch there because I asked her to come with me to pick up my mom in Alabang.... So we sat and ate and then she told me the story... I knew something was up with elaine because she went in early and her eyes were "maga"... I asked her that if she didn't sleep well and she told me that she couldn't... but I guess now I know the real reason why.... But hey today also was a great day... 2 out of 3 subjects I sat beside elaine and we got to talk also... I mean I rarely now sit beside and just talk with her... I sometimes miss talking to her... I dunno it's just fun sometimes and I find her cute when she smiles and stuff.... Arrrrrghhhhh right now it's more difficult not falling head over heals for elaine... Sometimes I just want to stop the insanity and just freaking move on (I mentioned this about a million times now)... But I couldnt really shake it...... Knock me on the head, slap me with a 2x4, anything... JUST anything to help me forget... Sometimes I just couldnt stand it anymore....................

Mixed Emotions

I've been having mixed emotions on giving up on driving myself to school... I just realized that it's already the 15th and 4 more days to go before my driver comes back... In a way I'm having some fun and on the other fun it's quite stressful... Everytime I go home I always take a nap which I didnt do before... Although its nice to be free from any schedule... I make my own schedules and choose what time to go home... So I'm just trying to balance everything up and see how I'll feel about it in the end...

School today was ok, didnt do much, just listened to the proffs give out thier lectures.... The last subject which was sociology, the proff was looking for a couple to help her prove her point in her discussion... And what do you know, she chose Elaine and her boyfriend... *hehe* obviously taunts were hurled and I was been teased majorly!! Hmmm but I wonder, everytime they tease on Elaine and me, how does she feel deep inside? I guess irritated? Or maybe shy about the fact I liked her before?? Hmmm... Pretty curious question, dont you think??

Bored


Hey hey I'm back again and I decided to write up something here... I haven't been really active in writting posts ever since I came back from Thiland... Hmmm I wonder? Anyways, I forgot to mention that my folks let me drive going to school because our driver is out on vacation and will be coming back the next week... I've been driving my self to school for a week now and at first it was kinda cool, but came the 2nd week of school, I'm kinda tired already of driving *haha*... It's just that it's too early in the morning and I have to fight through traffic day in day out... Well I guess this will be a temporary thing and I'll have to enjoy it for this is my last week to be driving my self to school (thank GOD)... This morning was really a rush for me... I really had to pee bad while I was stuck in traffic... Luckily I was nearing my destination (starbucks which is right across school)... *haha* I was squirming like a worm inside the car... DAMN the traffic!!! Well good thing I was able to hold it in all the way... Oh yeah every MWF I have almost 2 hours to spare because I dont have the first subject which was 8:20-9:20... But I'm already at school at around 7:30 so I spent my time at starbucks sipping my Cappuccino while fiddling my gameboy advance... I guess I'll be doing that for two more days in the week... hahaha kinda nice that I can still lay back and just hang around...

Out of Action


Sorry about the blog black out.... I've been loosing interest to write and now I just got it back again! Well I'm pretty mixed up again right now... My feelings for Elaine are slowly coming back again *sigh*... Again, as usual it's so hard for me to forget her, but I'm trying my best to do so.... Oh yeah I also bought a Gameboy Advance! It's the best handheld device ever!! VErrrrrry powerful for a little machine hehehe I bring it almost everywhere I go! Keeps me company if I've got nothing to do... Although, I kinda feel shy bringing it out... Hehe kinda feel like a kid but what the heck!! Who cares as long as I'm having fun!!!

New Year, New Life


Blogger was down yesterday so I wasn't able to write a new year entry, so I'll just being doing it today.... WOW its already 2002! Time flys reallllllllly fast!!! It's really been a crazy year for me lots of up's and downs, well mostly alot of downs... but now its the new year and I'm trying to change my life.... I'm giving my self a clean slate, a fresh start! That's why I'm kinda happy right now... I hope I can make the most out of my second chance... So welcome 2002 good bye 2001!!!

HOME! (Finally)


Well I'm finally back home!! I really had a grand time in Thiland!! Good food, nice culture and HOT CHICKS!!! Oh well enough of that I'm really kinda upset about something... And it's really weird that I'm upset about this... Queenie has this guy she likes and she told him how she felt about the guy.... But guess what? This guy likes queenie too so they are in this sort of Mutual Understanding... But the problem here is that, this guy has a girlfriend already and thier dillema is how they will fix everything up... Right now they are trying to fix this up and I hope they find thier answer soon... But why should I be so affected? I mean I only like her as a friend and that's it.... I think I'm just kinda jealous and stuff that she found someone although she is in a tight situation right now.... But then again she still found someone to like...... I wish I could be like that with Elaine............. Kept on thinking about her while I was on my trip........... Sigh here we go again.....

Bloggin in THILAND


Hey hey!! I'm in Thiland right now in some sort of small internet cafe... I couldn't stand being off line for 4 days!! Need to get my fixx from the net *haha* Anyways I'll be going home tommorow... I'm just waiting for my folks to come to this mall because they are busy doing something... Thiland is really a nice place... Lots of temples to see and they have a very rich culture... Well on the other hand I've been silent too for the past few days... Not too much people to talk to since I'm surrounded with adults literally... But hey I've been looking around also and the girls here are FINE!!!!! Phew! They are soooo fine I wish I could come back again *lol*... Hmmm nothing much really to say now so I'll guess ill be checking out and going to pay the fee which is 2 bhat a minute hmm pretty expensive i might say... Well thats it see ya all tommorow!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!


Well it's 10:44pm here, a couple more hours it's already Christmas!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU!!!!! Mannnnn I'm going to leave also tommorow as I mentioned... So I posting today for tommorow's sake!!! Well that's it guys! Merry Christmas again and may you have a happy new year!!!

Christmas Vacation


Just woke up right now and it's kinda late already, but who cares I'm on a holiday *hehe*.... I'll be leaving tommorow for Thiland with my family... Yes yes it Christmas day tommorow, but my mom figured that not so many people would be leaving that day, thus making the airport less crowded... Makes sense to me... But I'm really not thrilled on going to Thiland... I guess because of my last trip, when I went to the states, I really did not have anyone to talk to... Since I'm the only child I always go with the adults... *sigh* in other words despite the sight seeing, it might be a boring trip for me... That's why I'm not all that excited and stuff.... I wish I didn't have to go.... I don't mind not going, but hey! It's christmas so I'll just give them a chance this time... See ya on the 30th!!!

It's Not So Bad Afterall...


Well today is another day so why waste it on moping around? I'm just trying to accept my failure and try to keep my head up high... It's the holidays so why beat it?? Queenie and I talked over the phone this morning, but it was short... She was just checking up on how I was doing from yesterday... I really felt bad because I really didn't say much, but I apologized just now and said that I wasn't just really in the mood... I also said thanks for being concenrned and for cheering me up... Well I'm once again stuck in the house... I've plan my day by watching a couple of DVDs... Final Fantasy and Tomb Raider... I'll start with Tomb Raider since I've never seen it yet then after a few minutes. I'll watch Final Fantasy.........Again I just want to start over... Forget what I posted yesterday... I was just sooo frustrated.... Merry Christmas to you guys and I mean it this time....

Out of the Storm, but Bearly Breathing


Hey I'm back from this terrible terrible week.... I just got my grades today... I passed everything except for that stupid accounting class!! More than 20 of us failed the subject.... This is such a great holiday that I'll be busy most of the time fixing this mess... Fixing my schedlues, subjects bla bla bla bla...... I'm going to unwind tonite by playing some on line games.... Life is sweet ain't it?? Oh yeah a Merry Christmas too *sigh* I wish.....

What a Christmas!

Damn it!! I just told my parents I might fail accounting this term and boy were they mad!! My mom said "Nobdy Fails in Collage!"... So I so pressured now to pass the freakin course!!!!! Arrrrrrrghhhhhhh!!!!! Can't take it anymore!!!!!!! Damn it Damn it damn it!! I have lot's of things to accomplish also for this week!! So this is the time of the term where I go CRUNCH time again!!! See you in a few weeks or so....

ACCOUNTING SUCKS!!!!

I know you guys are tired of really hearing this all over again, but I need to let it out... ACCOUNTING SUCKS ASS!!!!!!! Damn it!!! I need to get a grade of 80% to be able to pass the subject!!! But it seems that 80 is reallllllllyyyyyyyy sketchy for me... I don't think I'll be able to pass this term, so I'm preparing my self for the worse.... Think possitively you say??? I tried that before, I even ran it through my mind a million times, but I don't think it will work this time... *sigh* Why the hell do we need accounting in our lives... You have accountants to do that right???


Btw, on a lighter note... I added a comment link below as you can see before you... So if you want to comment about my posts, please do so!! I'm really curious on how many people actually read about my stupid life... But I doubt many really do...

Not Going My Way

This was another crazy day that God gave me... First of all, I had to set up the video of Elaine's group (the video they took yesterday)... And I really made a bad mistake of forgetting the AV cable in Franco's house, so I wasn't able to edit thier commericials... Kinda dissapointing, but the show had to go on... It went smoothly althought thier commercials were hard to understand because of the lack of editing... Second, I took some digital photos of my classmates in the classroom... We asked the teacher to come and join in but some asshole shouted out "Wag na yan" or in english "Don't include her"... Damn was she upset!! At first I thought the prof. was kidding around... She asked me if I took a video during the Photos... I wasn't so I told her so... She pinned it down on my classmate who I think he was really innocent... But she told him that find the person who did that or he remains guilty... Man it's just really screwed up!! But the fun doesn't end there! It's also related to the photos, we have this classmate who is a local celebrity... She really is pretty and popular... And I was able to get a photo of her with my classmates in it of course.... But the shirt she was wearing was kinda low-cut so her clevage was showing a little... So some of my immature classmates wanted the action and kept on bugging me about her picture... I told them to grow up and respect the person!! But boys will be boys! They were taunting me and told me that I was just selfish and stuff, but I really wasn't... Hey don't get me wrong there, I'm not gay, but I respect people, females especially... The pictures are now uploaded in my yahoo briefcase, now to be seen by those freaks... I don't know... Peer pressure got to me I guess that's why I uploaded it... Maybe the reason I hessitated to upload was I've got this crush on her *hehe* but she never does notice me in class... *haha* Anyways is it wrong to just like someone?! The term will end soon, so I guess I won't be seeing too much of her anymore... I don't know who cares I shouldn't be ranting and trying to figure out these childish issues... Is it time to grow up? Or is it just normal??? I don't know anymore... It's kinda a messy day for me

No Pressure at All

Today seems a fine day... This morning I had to go to Franco's house to help them with thier news casting project... I had to be there by 8:30 but arrived at 9 because of the terrible traffic... The other groupmates arrived around 9:30-10:00... Was kinda pissed that they arrived later than me because I wasn't even part of thier group and I really was very sleepy... Another thing that kinda irritated me was that, they were having a hard time deciding which commerical to use for thier news casting... Oh come on, a simple thing like that shouldn't be pondered for more than an hour... So finally they decided then it was time to film... We finished around 1:30 then we went to school... Elaine also assigned me something to do for our religon class... I had to scan, edit and print at least 20 pictures... At first I didnt mind doing it, then I started working on it a few hours ago... *PHEW* it was tooooooooo tedious!! So I texted Elaine and told her that it was alot of work for a day (it was due for tommorow)... So I told her I'll just choose the relevant pictures so in my opinion the outcome would be better... As always Elaine "the dictator" tried to talk me out of it, but I said just leave it to me then I guess in a disappointing way she just agreed.... So that was my day, kinda irational, but I'm still standing after the storm....

I Feel Like a Kid Today

As the title says, I really do feel like a kid today! I watched two movies with my mom, the first one was Harry Potter and the second was Monsters INC.Surprisingly Harry Potter was good! At first I really protested on watching that movie because of it's hype and I really do think it's for kids. The story was really for kids but it wasn't that kiddie kiddie corny stuff... You know what I mean... It was quite fun watching it but I better not tell the people in my class, because they know that I'll never watch that movie *hehehe* it's kinda like a dark secret.... Monsters INC. was the movie I really wanted to watch... I've been a fan of Pixar's works (Toy Story 1&2 and A Bugs Life) They really know how to make good CGI animation! It was a funny and touching story, *hehehe* my mom even cried in the ending! Well that was my day, spent it all in the mall, but it was fun! It's just like being a kid again!

Hostages Secured!

Hey this is what I was trying to post up here! Some still pictures of our video yesterday for our project I was mentioning two days ago!! Everything went smoothly and we looked so cool!!! Check me out (green fatigues) in the foreground! Can I pass for SWAT? hahahaha!!! Mannn wish I had that gun!

Oops!

Sorry for the broken link below! It's suppose to be a picture from my yahoo briefcase, I couldn't link it so I might just get hosted so I can put pics here!

Loong Weekend

Man it really feels like saturday today but it's just Friday! I have to do my proj tom in my blockmates house... We are going to do a mock hostage rescue on video! I'm looking foward to it because in a way I'm living my dream of being part of the SWAT team like in the states... I know I know it's lame laugh all you want! But you must admit it really must be exciting being SWAT...

Fixing Up

Well almost completed my needed files for downloading... Right now I'm downloading mp3's to make a cd! I'm in the mood for Female Singers so the CD is full of them... I'm still trying to think of more female artists or females who front thier bands hmmmmmmmm Think think think! And oh yeah guess you noticed the banner of the World Aids Day thing... Hmmmmmm? What made me participate? I guess Aids is really a serious disease and we just take it for granted..... I really do hope they find a cure for it...

On-Line FINALLY

WOO HOOOOOOOOOOO I'm back online finally!!! I missed being online, missed using the computer, I MISSED EVERYTHING!!!! FINALLY ITS BACK!!!! I'm downloading some stuff right now so I'm not really into writting!! I might post something up later!! AGAIN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOO IM BACK BABY!!!!

Being Aware

Just participated at this Link and Think... Its about World AIDS day on Dec. 1 Hope you guys can join also!

Off-Line till further notice

I've been offline since last wednsday... I'm waiting for my computer parts because they are damn deffective!!! I wasn't able to do anything really in the house for the past few days! I've go no internet, my PS2 is busted again (but planning to sell the piece of shit) and I'm not able to talk to Queenie on the phone because either she is too busy or she is talking to someone else... It's just boooooring at home!! I hope the new parts will come by this week!! I'm doing all my surfing in school and I'm also writting it from here... Guess my next post will be on wed again and hoefully I'll be back online on thursday!

Tired of Living

For the past few days I just feel so tired... Tired of living and maybe tired of hoping.... I don't know why I've been feeling like this..... It's just weird that I feel so depressed... As if that there was no more hope for me..... Man it's really scary....

Disappointments All Over

Hey it's been quite awhile since I've wrote anything here... So Ill start with some bad news... *sigh* I've been being disappointed in everything since yesterday.... I don't want to get into details because I don't feel like it... Anyways to just to sum up today I would like to put it in just two very meaningful words: ACCOUNTING SUCKS!!... Ok that's it I just don't feel writting anything more today... Sorry for the childish rant...

Lousy day (yesterday)

What a day yesterday!! We had a blackout which affected almost all of the parts of the city and it lasted for 8 hours!! DAMN 8 freakin hours!! It started around 5pm and at 6pm I was already heading home... So I was stuck in the house with no electricity doing nothing, well except planning for my outing on saturday... Me and Queenie are going to watch "The One" on Saturday... I hope everything goes well on that day.. I don't want to expect anything so in a weird way it's going to be more fun...

Today is the start of school again... *ugh* School!! I hope I passed all my tests especially that stupid accounting course!!! I really hope I did... *sigh* Oh well here goes nothing.........

Intrigued?

Hehe I just got a report from Queenie that my blogspot has been accessed by lots of people in my block.... Damn I shouldn't have advertised it to everybody, oh well that's what I get! So I'm changing the url to inque_54... No one would guessed this now hehehe.. It's so ironic, I wanted people to view about my life, but now I'm trying to avoid people from being too "close" hehehe......


Btw, last tuesday's party was great!!! Well for me it was, I was able to drive and stuff and I brought Queenie to starbucks that night also... Hehe she said a couple of silly things cause I think she was a little bit tipsy... Silly girl *hehe*.... Anyways I really had fun mainly because I had good company! Well Queenie in the other hand has a diffrent story, can't figure out if she had a good time or not? We spoke on the phone this morning and she sounded, hmmm, let's say a little bit confused? Well I don't know hope I get to talk to her tonite to clear this up......

Finally I can kick back!!

Tomorrow is the start of our 5 day break! Since it will be a holiday tomorrow and thursday. Might as well do it for friday also!! YIPIEEE!!!! I'm going to Franco's house again because he is throwing a halloween party!! Queenie will also be there that's why I decided to go! I wasn't supposed to go when the guys were only going... I didn't have fun the last time, but now more people are going so I guess it will be more fun than the last time!! I'll be dressing up in a while....

Ground Zero


Oh man!!! Today is test day!!! I still don't know shit about accounting!! Oh man Oh man Oh man!!!! WTF will I do now? Oh well just have to face the music and do what I can do... WISH ME LUCK!!!!

Accounting Sucks. (period)

Damn it Damn it Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so dead for tomorrow's test in accounting!!!! I don't have a clue on what to do (well I have partial knowledge though)! I'm SOOOOOOOOO Dead I tell you!! I wish there will be a really big miracle that the Prof. will make the test very easy or I'll get all her lessons crammed by tomorrow.... *sigh* I just have to pray hard tonite, pray for a BIG Miracle....

Trying to get things done

Say I'm trying to memorize the poem I mentioned yesterday, and it seems to be going great! I've already got 3 stanzas down... 4 more and I'm done!! I'm taking a break right now, it seems that I can't get anything in my head for some reason!! Oh well hope this will go away... I'll right back again later

Testing Blogbuddy

Hey I'm testing out this program called blog buddy... It's suppose to let you write your entries from this program, instead of logging into www.blogger.com It's kinda neat!! I think this program will help alot!! Hey Queenie returned my call for the first time hahahaha!! I'll write back again tommorow!

Trouble!!!

Yikes! I'm going to have a lot to do from this day on!! Have to memorize a poem, research some stuff on religon class and Study for that stupid subject called accounting... Ok the poem will be easy (well not really), comapred to the two tasks I have to do, it will look like a chicken shoot.... The thing with religon class is that, I have an indecent group... I can picture now that I will be doing most of the work, but this is impossible there are 100 questions to answer and its impossible for me to answer all of them... Well I guess there are a few that will help but this is not the point! They should all pitch in or I'll really kick thier asses!!! Accounting is a diffrent story... Damn I don't even understand a single lesson she is teaching!!! And we are going to have our midterms on monday!? SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I usually don't curse on my entries, but this shows how desperate I am!! I hope there will be someway for me to cram all her lessons into my head in 2 days!!!!! Siiiiiiiiighhh!! I'm in need of help here!!!!

Calling in Sick

Man I feel terrible today!!! I shouldn't have gone to the gym!!! I just feel so dizzy right now because of my colds, so I decided not to go to school today and just have a rest! *sigh* But I really needed to go to accounting class, I think we are going to have our midterm in that subject on monday! Monday!!!!!! And I don't know shit about that subject!! I'm so screwed up right now!! I really don't feel like writting right now.... I'm sick, I'm screwed, damn damn damn!!!!!

Hmmm?

For some reason right now, I just feel so uneasy... I don't know really what's the cause... It's a mixture of anxiety and hmm nervouseness... It's so weird...... Hmmmm? Guess I'm just hungry or something... Or I guess I just need to talk to Queenie for some odd reason.... Hey I think it's almost the 1 year anniversary of Elaine and her boyfriend... Well I know I'm not suppose to think of her anymore, but this is different... Well lucky them hope thier relationship will last.....

Mind-Blowing

Last night, well actually around midnight to early morning today, I've just learned some few secrets about someone... I can't and won't say the name here, it's just too personal to write down the specifics here... All I can say is that it's so mind blowing and shocking for me to learn these things... It wasn't negative at all, just surprised I guess... I still can't find the words to describe on what I felt when that person confessed to me... WOW!! is all what I can say... I'm still in awe even right now... The first thing I thought about this morning was that confession... As I said, I don't take it personally, it's just that it was a crazy night alright... You think you know a person that well? Your freakin WRONG buddy! Thats the golden rule I've learned last night! Never over look a person even if you know that person really well... There are even those things that he/she will keep from you!

Well this experience that I just had last night, was really something... Although it was really like a blow in the gut, this will never change on how I look at my friend... In a way this made me closer to that person and we built a solid foundation of trust here.... I think I'll also care for my friend more! I mean there is this weird feeling inside me that our bond has grew, I really hope it will stay this way also........

Blech!

Ugh! What an ugly day this turned out to be... Had to rush my paper for BETHICS class!! It turned out that I did the wrong format!!! So I wasn't able to attend my first class anymore because I spend the whole time rewritting the whole paper!! Phew glad I made it in time though! But still, it was a yucky day for me!! Didn't expect anything like this would happen! Again I'm really not in the mood to post my thoughts for the day... I guess I feel so uncontented!! And inside I kinda feel guilty!! I think I'm turning into a gaming junkie!! I failed my quiz in accounting then this the paper thing!! Damn, but even though you stop me from playing on those days, I guess the outcome would be the same... I still have my sense of responsibility... I think I just have to work harder and try to cut down on my gaming...... *sigh* Pretty confused right now......

Rush?

Today our BETHICS prof asked us to make a paper which is due on thursday! I've done my research, and I think I'll do the paper tommorow night or tonite if I feel up to it... Nothing really happend today... Everything went hmmm let's say, semi-smoothly... And for some reason I don't feel like typing up anything today.. So I'll just end it here...

Bangged up day

So today didn't turn out what I expected.... It was just crazy today... It all started this morning when I planned my day that I'll be going to the gym at 10:30 (yes you heard me right the GYM!)... But it turned out differently... I'm to lazy to type up what the story was... Anyways I was able to get to the gym but it was late already... I finished up at around 1:30, went back to my old house (in pasay) to eat lunch at take a shower... I left the house at around 2 something and I got to school at 2:30.. I had to buy some M&M's for Queenie because I didn't make our scheduled appointment at Starbucks which was at 1:30.... I rushed to the classroom and good thing I wasn't late!

Ok that was just the beginning.... Next we had our Computer class and I wasn't able to run the program that the teacher ask us to make... It was so frustrating that my other classmates were getting and I wasn't!! Damn that pissed me off, but it didn't ruin my day... And the last thing that just made my day was, my PS2 which can't play U.S. games cannot be fixed!! My classmate told me he knew a place where I can get my PS2 fixed up.... I gave him the games the unit and the money!! After searching of all the shops I can find... I thought this time it was going to happend!! But damn it! He said they cant fix it! *sigh* And I bought around 5 games which cost $50 a piece... Now its totally usesless.. I doubt anybody will buy my games because it is already old.......... Damn it to hell!!! I'm just so pissed right now............

Hot yet happpy!!!

Hey hey! i'm at school right now, just killing some time until my next subject... Mannn the weather just kills you right now!! Apperantly, it just rained hard outside! And now all the moisture is evaporating!! It's so freakin hot to stay outside now! So that's why I decided to stay indoors and surf the net here at school! Hey I just took my quiz in my PREMAN class and I feel confident I'm going to ace it hehehe... All that studying paid off!!!! And oh yeah I'm so happy that we are not going to have a make-up quiz in my Accounting class!! *woohoo* to that!!!! Oh yeah I forgot to also mention why I have nothing to do right now. It's because that our Prof. for our computer class has a headache... *hehe* She even told me personally that she can't make it and to tell the class that there will be no lecutre today... This is quite a day!!! And also another good thing is that Jed will be coming over to the house! Jed is our lead guitarist in the band and I invited him over to just jam and I guess play around with the computer... Hope everything just stays the way as it is!

Here is the lo-down on Forgetting: Day 3... I'm not really that affected right now... There is still a smile on my face and I feel very light and just plain happy today... I guess it's from all the events that have been happening now... I really hope this is no phase of mine or I'll really go nuts!!!

Oh well that's enough!! I'll be continuing my post at home! Almost have to go back to class ....

Troubleshooting

I tried to yet make another face lift to my blogspot, because I found the fonts to be tiny... After trying out other templates which were suggested by blogger, I still stuck with this one... But I had to fix up some problems, as you can see, my email link is gone, because whenever I edit that part, the whole line just screws up... I have to wait for a reply on a post I made on the forum board... I hope I get this fixed....

By the way, results on Forgetting: Day 2 was successful! Didn't think too much of Elaine today, and I think I'm ending this day with a smile... Hope I can keep this up!!

I have to study for another quiz on my PREMAN class and arrrrrrrrrghhh!!!! I have an accouting make-up quiz!!! DAMN DAMN DAMN!! I hate that stupid subject!!! I hope I can pass it this time... *sigh* It will take a miracle to make me pass.... A BIG miracle....

Forgetting: Day 1

Today is the start of a new beginning for me... No more complaning, ranting or dreaming about how Elaine should be mine and all that crap... I'm trying now (take note: trying) to forget all about her... With all the thinking I did, I'm convinced that I have no chance in hell being with her... So why cry about spilled milk?? It's useless... I'd rather be happy and enjoy life... But to tell you the truth, it's really hard giving up on her... Damn I just have to face reality and just get with the program... I can't have her, end of discussion... But life isn't like the movies... Sometimes it could be sweet or it could be full of shit.... Well this is my first day afterall... Let see what happends...
But *sigh* why did this have to happend? I wish I could go up to God now and asked him why did he have to do this to me? What wrong did I do?? It's so freaking mysterious that this kind of thing had to happen... Is this some sort of test?? I just have a lot of questions right now, but sadly, these questions will remain unanswered.... Also, I've got this terrible terrible feeling that I can't let loose.... I don't know if it's anger or sadness... I'll just never understand myself...

Oh by the way, on a lighter note: Me and Queenie are friends again *yehey*... *hehe* After saying sorry for a million times and giving her some chocolates as a peace offering, she forgave me and we are talking again.... Damn, it serves me right!! I'd better learn from this lesson and not do it again...

P.S. to any of my blockmates reading this: Thanks for stopping by!!

Oh yeah I forgot also to mention Queenie got pissed at me today because I kept on teasing her how short her shirt was... *hehe* Guess I said too much, I'll apologize to her tomorrow! I hope she accepts it... She was kinda cold on me the whole day today... Serves me right!!!!

Trying to forget the Unforgettable

Hey it's midnight and I'm still not falling asleep... Well I'm trying though... Guess I'll hit the sack after this....

*sigh* I'm in this stage of just trying to move on now... Just trying to forget about Elaine and just freaking move on... I kinda done it before, I just hope I can pull it off again... *sigh* been listening to alot of Jeff Buckley for the past couple of days... His songs serves as my "mood" music... Don't want to get into any heavy stuff now, although I just bought a CD of Boy hits Car *hehe* it totaly contradicts on what I just said... Hey I tried to find the CD of Jeff Buckley, but Tower ran out of stock... Got to look elsewhere... Well I'm barely making any sense now, sleep is just calling my name... Well to sum up everything, I promise my self to get a life and get this Elaine issue out of my system... I'll really try my best just to look at her as a friend now... It will be useless at all if I just keep my hopes up and having feelings for her... Like fighting a loosing battle right? Ok thats it!! Gnyt!!

Waisted Weekend

Ahhh another weekend has past and I totally waisted it! Besides going out today for lunch, that's about my weekend! Most of it was spent here at home! Fixing up my computer, playing some games and being a total hermit!!! *bah* They should really give me the car for the next weekend! I'm going nuts already!! I feel like an anti-social, just stay at home and speak to no one! Well tomorrow will be the start of a another hell of a week... Still am thinking of Elaine (which I know you guys are tired of hearing of already).... Hope this week will be a bit more interesting... And if it is, you will be the first one to know about it....

Strange day

I feel so worn out today and I don't know why... It's soooooo weird! Anyways I'm not going out tomorrow just going to stay at home (as usual)... *sigh* and I was planning to do something for my weekend... I'm starting to just always stay at home every week.... Damn they should really give me a car now...

My War within

Today we had our recollection... At first it was kinda boring and stuff... Then he gave us this activity... We have to write down an event or a person who made us unhappy, then you also have to write how did you overcome the pain and what did it do for you? For some strange reason, I've been thinking about Elaine again the whole day... It was really weird... So I guess that would be a perfect example right? So I wrote a brief sentence about it and I also wrote how I partially overcame it.. Well actually before I did, then she just comes back to my mind all of a sudden... But at the end of the day, I was really satisfied, I'm kinda in the "accepting" mood again... I just sometimes get too confused often... Not thinking straight nor logically... I guess I'm really like that when I care for a person... *sigh* is it right to say that I hope I just forget all about this? But the contradiction there is that, I'm just denying my true feelings, which in the first place got me into this mess.... So right now I fighting a war within me... A war that I fear I will never win.....

Yawwwn!

I woke up today at 10:00am and I was suppose to go to the gym (like I always do)... But strangely, my mom used the car and lucky for me I wasn't feeling up to it going over to the gym... So I guess I'll just write something up now and also I'll make up for not writing a post yesterday... Today I know there will be a quiz at accounting... Damn it! I have to study for it later!! I doubt I will pass on today's quiz, I can't even understand her lectures.. In any case, I hope I'll still pass... *hehe* Can't wait to see Queenie and ask her about the concert... Hmmm did something happend?? *hehe* I'll find out later!!! Well nothing really much to say for now... I'm still leading a boring life and I still think much of Elaine until now... Sometimes I can't bare it anymore!! Good thing I have my computer to get my mind of everything for a while...

Life's mysteries

Tonite, Queenie and my buddy Franco will be going on a hmmm lets just call it an outing *hehe*... The well known band called the "Coors" will be performing tonite... This is thier "make-up" concert, because they were suppose to first perform here 6 months ago... They didn't make it the first time is because that one of them had an ear inffection... I hope they will both have fun tonite! Especially Queenie! We talked on the phone last night and apparently she couldn't really decide if she would go or not... The reason being is that, Franco and Queenie had a bit of history together that really didn't go quite well... I will not really get into that right now, but all I can say is that she is quite uneasy being with Franco compared to before... I told her just to loosen up and have fun... Just think of it as hanging out than a date... Then she told me but what will the others say? I said who cares what others will say? Let them make thier own conclusions! You know the truth and thats what counts... I just really hope she will just have fun tonite and I think it's one of her favorite bands performing... So I guess she won't blow it....

What about me? As usual, stuck at home, playing games and watch some T.V.... "Your becoming a couch potato already" quoted from my mom... I think she's right, but I wouldn't be like this if they gave me a car right? I hope she see's the problem right away... But I think we are going out to eat a restaurant to attend some party... Who's throwing it? Beats me? I'm just there for the food, but I really don't feel like going out... Well I've burned enough calories from thinking and typing up this post... I'll go back now being a spud...

(......)

Just killing some time right now and I figured I would right up something right now because I doubt I will post an entry tonite.... The reason being is that we are going to have a meeting over the Return to Castle Wolfenstien game server... I hope more people will come tonite compared to last week's scheduled event... Damn! I'm craving for a grand session with that game tonite! I really hope people will come!

Ok ok enough with my gaming obssesions... I just finish reviewing for my two quizzes today... One is for PREMAN and one for APPBUS (Java programming class). Speaking of JAVA, I'm really excited on how to code a JAVA program... I would really want to make one, and maybe I will post it up here to show off my new skills *hehe*,,, But I really hope I can pull it off and keep the same level of interest that I have now... Oh yeah, and most of all keeping my patience... I was never known for my rock solid patience when it comes to doing school work... Well I think this would be a exception... I wouldn't really call it school work, hmmm but I wouldn't call it fun... Maybe it's a bit of both... WIth interest and curiosity fueling my flame, I really hope it won't die out.... its almost 1:00pm already going to change for school in about 20 mins. or so...

Wish me luck for tonite!!

Hi Queenie!! takaw mo talaga sa nips hehe jk!

*hehe* sorry for the rant! This will never happend again!!

Is it love or is it obsession?

Instead of attending the most boring class in the world (bibstud), I went to starbucks with Queenie today... We ate lunch there and I paid the bill... So while eating we discussed life's problems... She told me hers and I told her mine... Well it was quite interesting, got to know lots about each other again... After telling our problems we just comforted each other and hoped for the best... But what struck me the most today was, she said that I really loved Elaine (which was also one of my dilemmas in life). I said "no way", because for one, things will never work out and the other was she is already a year with her boyfriend... But Queenie insisted and reassured me, that's already love... Think of this, she really doesn't do anything for me and at times, she even ignores me... *sigh* could it be? It kept me thinking for awhile and I think I partially agree with her... Although it's a bad idea to totally fall in love with her, but I guess my feelings for her will just be there... Life for me is kinda screwy right now... This problem of mine is like a bad stain on a white shirt... It's just stuck there no matter what... At times I just simply try to forget it... It worked for a quite a few times, but she comes back to my mind... Yes I know it's sad, but it's just really hard for me to get over her... Well for consilation, I always remeber the times when she didn't have her boyfriend yet... The times when she first texted me until when we went out to have dinner... *sigh* those were the days and I will never forget them... So everyday, I always fight a loosing battle, but somehow I manage to hold on... I try not to think of her too much anymore, but it's litterally unavoidable... Good thing I have good friends like Queenie, to at least take my mind of her for the time being....

P.S. I hope you wouldn't think this is a bad case of being obsessed? Well is it?

Patched up (well partially though)

I tried to patch things up with my friend and blockmate, Pam... During my accounting class, I planned on texting her a nice quote... Part of the plan would be proper timing... I figured while I was in Edsa she would be probably be home so thats what I did... Unexpectedly she replied and thought that I sent the wrong message to her... I told her I didn't and from there on our conversation continued... While we were exchanging messages, I tried again to patch things up with her again(first attempt was I think 4-5 months ago, not really sure). This time, things are seem to be going the way it should be... Although, one of my last messages I told her that are we going to be talking again in class? She said "bahala na" or in english "let's see". I guess everything can't be fixed in one day... Maybe she needs more time? But I have a feeling that we will be talking in a few weeks (well I hope we will)... I just missed talking to her, that's all... *sigh* I really don't know what drove me to text her again... Maybe it's her eyes... You can never forget how pretty her eyes are...

Oh yeah, today was a strange day for me... I don't know if I should feel happy or sad... Okay just hear me out for a sec. Today our first class, our prof. gave us new seating arrangements... She arranged us alpahbetically... This was good, because everytime when a prof. arranges us alpahbetically, I end up seating beside Elaine... *hehe* Yes it's Elaine again... She was strangely nice to me today... Because there are times that she really doesn't notice me at all... But here comes the sad part, our prof. was really pissed at us because we were too noisy... Hell, whats new right? So for thier ignorance, I too had to suffer the consequence... She gave us a pop quiz... Luckily it was kinda easy... So I guess today, in a weird way was special? I don't know really?? For some reason I just feel too banged up... So I'll just end my long entry here (sorry about that)

Living with the pain

Today in BETHICS(Philosophy) class, Our Prof. kept on pounding us with questions... They seem simple enough to answer, but you really have to think about what he is asking... Just like any philospher, he wants to know why? Why does it have to be this way? Why is God doing this to us? Is there a God in the first place?? All these questions were asked at us... Also, he assigned different philosophers to research on... My guy was Immanuel Kant, a russian philosopher... The prof. asked me a few questions about his thesis, then he asked me a question related to his philosophy... I felt so dumb I couldn't understand his question and I blurted out the wrong answer... There are so many things I wanted to say, but he just told me to answer yes or no... After the questioning, he then went on to theodicy(about a supreme being, better known as God) He again tossed us with questions... Why do we have to suffer? Is it divine right? Or coinsidence? Then it kept me thinking... Yeah why do I have suffer this problem I am facing now... Namely liking Elaine(my blockmate)... I know, I'll never have a chance at her because she already has a boyfriend, which is also my blockmate... Why? Why? WHy??? From all the punishments, suffering or whatever you want to call it... Why did God choose it this way? Whats the purpose??? I can't really shake my feeling for Elaine.. I know, I know, I guess you guys are so tired of hearing about Elaine, but it's just to hard to forget and move on... I guess it's almost a year already (go on tell me how a big of a looser I am) but it's the hardest thing to do for me right now... Queenie has been telling me to just move on and forget it... But you can't just not love someone... Especially if you see that person everday... *sigh* It's just so Ironic.... If I have been true to my feelings in the first place I guess I wont be bitching all the time.... So the moral to all of you out there: Never hesitate or you loose... you loose Big

Bad day, Bad Weather, Bad Life

*sigh* We are having bad weather today.... It rained hard this morning and I couldn't get enough sleep... So when I woke up I was kind of sleepy still... I was hoping also that we wouldn't have any school today because of the rain, but it turned out that the rain only lasted in the morning *groan* So I'll be leaving for school in an hour or so... Still have to complete the take home quiz that our prof. gave us last week! And I just remebered I have to do a report for english class tomorrow! Mannn here I go agian!! I just love going CRUNCH TIME!!!!

Wake me in a year or two ok!

Phew! Another day at work.. err.. play I mean

Just got off from playing Counter-Strike again... Man I'm getting tired from shouting at my teammates hehehe! Up to now I still can't believe how cool the voice chat function is working out! Hope people won''t abuse it!

Anways, my very very good friend at canada just wrote an email to me and I replied her back with another loooooong letter as usual *he he*.... She told me she got a new car... It's a Honda Accord 3L V6 engine.. Woah!! Wish I had a car like that here!!! But I guess I'm happy with my toyota! I just love the interior!!! Well school starts again tomorrow, I'll also be picking up my mom at the airport after class.... She just came back from Thiland... Is it a business or liesure trip? I guess bit of both... She just loves flowers, thats why she went there to go buy 'em! Hope this week will turn out fine!

Addiction to the max!

Arrgh! I wasn't able to write anything yesterday because I was too hooked up on playing Counter-Strike.... I guess you heard of the game, it's very famous all over... I got hooked up again because the new voice chat feature! Instead of typing on what you are going to say, you just say it! Kinda neat huh? There are still a few bugs to work out, but it turned out ok for the first try.... Well I'm stuck at home today, trying to kill time by playing Max Payne... Another famous action game... Hehe you might have noticed I'm such an avid gamer! Who doesn't love games anyway right?? I think I'll check back here again later, I'm going to continue on playing!! Oh yea just to leave you with something, I got this line off My Girl 2, I saw it on HBO a week ago and there was a line that caught my attention... It goes like this: "Don't be a poet, be a T.V. repair man..." Sad huh?

Yup I'm still alive

Hey I decided to write back here again... My prof for my computer class is not here so I'm just trying to kill some time! Lot's of things had been happending so far... Just too much to mention... But I will never forget about what has happend in the states... I still pray for those who were hurt in this terrible tradegy... I hope nothing more evil will happend like this again.... Well, everybody has left the computer lab and it's my turn to go... So I'll continue to write my thoughts at home.... It's nice again to be back!

Trying to give myself a rest right now... Nothing really important left to do for tonite... Almost half of the workload is done in general... Mostly it's planning/research for tonite and then I guess the hard part will start tomorrow! Gotta get those juices flowing to my head!! But for now I'm going to just chill..............................................

The insanity goes on...

Trying to still fix up and finish all the projects which are nearing the deadline... I'm also having a little trouble with some of my subjects especially with math... So far the lessons that they are giving us are to freakin hard to understand! It's quite frustrating because I really don't want to repeat this stupid subject so I am trying my best to learn it and I hope I can do a better job! Also, today me and Franco went to get the new car I was raving about two days ago.. It should have been yesterday that it should have arrived, but they told us that they still had to clean the car and ask us to get it today... So I went to the Toyota at thier Shaw blvd. branch and went to claim the car... As we were giving it an inspection we noticed that it had light scratches on it... So we asked them to clean it up.. So they did, but we had to wait until 1:30 for the guy to clean the car to arrive... It took him another 30 mins to finish so we left the place at around 2:00.. I looked to franco and told him that we will not make it for P.E. which was at 2:30.. So we just stayed home and he asked to be picked up at my house around 4:00... After he left, Elaine texted me about we have to go to the senate house tomorrow... So I gave her a ring (hehe also a reason to get to talk to her *wink wink*) and she told me what to bring and I also encoded the questions that we were going to ask the senators... Then one of our group members texted her and told her that she will not be able to make it tomorrow so we just moved it into friday... *Sigh* still have more things to do... Now I have to get back to work........

As predicted, lots to accomplish for this week... Swamped with work and being pressured by deadlines, I don't know if how will I handle this week.... Franco didn't go to school today, he stayed home to rest because he was sick.. Also, I discovred something interesting today and I don't think I'll write it up here.. It's too personal and people might get hurt.... Hey I'm also excited for tomorrow because my new car will be coming... It's a red Corolla Altis! Looks sexy enough to drive! Can't wait to give it a test run, although I think my folks won't let me, but i really hope they would!!!!! I havn't driven for a couple of months now.. And my need for speed is driving me nuts!! Hope everything goes ok tomorrow...

The weekend just whized by me... Tomorrow I'll face another hectic day of school and trying to figure out how to complete deadlines which are due also the same week... I don't know if I can survive the horror I will be facing... Also I'm having a hard time scheduling our band practice.. Hope I can pull it off!!!!

ugh.. What a day... Didn't really have much fun today...

1.)I flunked the math quiz
2.)Got dizzy while playing Ping-Pong because of the heat
3.)Lost 2 times in Ping-Pong
4.)I know I will flunk my accounting quiz

Can anything get better than this?